Hypostrophe invented

Journalists celebrate introduction of new punctuation mark

Called the 'hypostrophe', the symbol overrides all known grammatical laws, meaning that it can never be used in the wrong place.

The development has been greeted with relief by many journalists, who have long regarded the outdated apostrophe as a serious work hazard.

"Our members work long hours struggling with large, awkwardly constructed sentences based on flimsy rhetoric," said an NUJ spokesperson this morning. "The last thing they need to be worrying about is whether they should be using its or it's."

"Thankfully, now we can just use the hypostrophe and be confident that the sentence will hold together."

The move has faced opposition from pressure groups such as GRAMMA! and the Royal Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Sentences. However, it has been welcomed across the media, not least by Mustard magazine, whose own sub-editor was mangled in a horrific spelling accident during issue #01.

~ A.M.