Satirical News & Articles

Lethargy generator found under bed

Home worker reports "creepy stuff"

Girl on train is soulmate

... in fellow passenger's imagination

Nanatechnology threat

Tech could consume planet by 2017

AdobeFagPacket®

Retro design software launches

Apple: iLitigate

Suing everyone from iBex to iRobot

Unclear terror bill

Sting given sweeping new powers

Hypostrophe

Solves whether it's "its" or "it's"

Men feeling pressure

...of unattainable media portrayal

Halle Berry denies

...being made out of plywood

New York miming disaster

Lax safety procedures result in deaths of hundreds of mimes

Apathy marchers

Don't bring London to standstill

Racecar breaks speed of smell

A red letter day for engineering

Picture only tells 743 words

Photojournalists 'in shock'

Past-It stickers

Craze sweeps Britain

Wallace & Gromit moon landing faked

Footaged was faked in film studio

Fight Club Worcestershire

10th AGM will be held at Kidderminster Scout Hall

Four Horsemen Split

Pestilence quits, citing 'artistic differences'

Cruel prank on nation's arsewits

'My brain became engaged. I panicked.'

News event

Attractive young women involved somehow

Harsh tube lighting

...used to curb overpopulation

eBay typo disaster

Stargate not stairgate

Gluttony Fridge

From the creators of the Vanity Mirror

Local stadium is secret space ark

Escape apocalypse in government spaceship

Pasta-antipasta explosion

Richmond completely vaporised

Obituary of a hedgerowsexual

D. E. Obituary died in a flowerbed

Recession hits Tyrell Corp

New models have boggly eyes and nylon hair

Final display for stuffed poor

Taxidermied paupers go under the hammer

'Ugly' man just low quality JPEG

He was merely a little pixelated

World's worst serial killer arrested

Killing spree results in minus two deaths

Gods of office technology

Deities rebranded for 21st Century

Screw Sweden

Country to be dismantled and rebuilt

1950s monster pacification

Water towers as makeshift punchbags

Mustard Horoscopes

by Agnes McScratch

Eat, Shït, and Die

Sandwich chain's name inspires other brands

Harnessing emotions
to solve energy crisis

Fuelled by kittens and outrage

Catholic rewards app

What do points make? Piety!

Meeting minutes

Mills & Boon-reading secretary
spices up meeting notes

Rise in mobile use by under-zeros

Concern over amount of
social networking by foetuses

Linguist discovers 'perfect' photo caption

Schoolbook caption hailed as
'lexical Holy Grail'

Save the English coastline

One man's crusade to conserve
England's traditional edges

Fashion cabal has dark secret

Middle-aged billionaires compete
to make teenagers look stupid

Artist brings roof down

Shocking exhibition by radical
new conceptual artist

Series of bizarre deaths

Detectives investigate
baffling homicides

Empire collapses under
weight of paternity cases

Sith Lord thought to have fathered hundreds of illegitimate children

Baseball was invented
to help men talk
about relationships

Anthropological find of the century

Midwinter festival deadlock

Negotiations continue for
ownership of December 25th

Ugly people's parking spaces

Less attractive people will be
given special permits

Street Games

The new craze of live-action board games

Greatest TV Spin-Offs

Everybody's Ambivalent About Gunther

TV Picks

David Cronenberg's Creche and more

Pavlov & Schrodinger

The hot new kids' cartoon

TV official draws sad face

Accusations of dumbing down

Richard Pryor in The Good Life

Great Casting Mistakes in History

Binge watching addicts

Middle-class Brits hooked on American product

New TV shows from MoreOn

False Idol, LCD, and Beggars Belief

Avatar sequels delayed...

until next stage of human evolution

Voice-activated movie ordering failure

Title recognition "not up to the task".

Movie titles recycled

Studio to re-use famous film titles

The Bourne Continuation

Financers line up next round of spinoffs

#1: Len Countmother,
Sit The F*ck Down

"Len got condemned prisoners to sing on the night before their execution."

#2: Ken Puffin,
Good Sex

"Don't get her too lit on white if you're after that kind of night."

#3: Valerie Coinage,
Hot Organ

"She jams at the top end while tickling the bass of the beast."

#4: St Owens,
Get F*ck'd

"It may sound pony, but these honky bastards can really croon!"

#5: London,
Quakermass

"One song lasts 23:43, which is the exact time each band member was born."

#6: Klondike,
Best Of Klondike

"Back in 1976 no one took any shit or asked for their money back."